The Willoughbys and other dysfunctional families
Yep, a catfight at the dinner table sounds about right
A film that focuses on dysfunctional families is incomplete until the awkward dinner scene where everyone is ready to throw hands. It’s usually the part where the conflicting personalities of every member comes together to clash. If you watch wrestling, this is when everyone is put in the octagon to make each other bleed to death. It’s a complete disastrous drama and what’s life without any of that?
Captain Fantastic (2016) brings two kinds of people over for dinner — a conservative and a liberal. One candidly speaks of topics the other would deem to be sensitive, so they find each other to be completely inappropriate weirdos. Little Miss Sunshine (2006) sits people on different degrees of fucked up in their life. Their conversation goes from awkward, insensitive to complete hate. Silver Linings Playbook (2012) ends the same way, except it’s a reunion of old friends that leads to an awkward topic of drug use. August: Osage County (2013) would have to be the worst of all. It hosts not one, but two catfight dinners. The first one ends with a wrestling match, while the other ends with people skipping town. Four Sisters And A Wedding (2013) holds their disastrous drama in the living room, but at least they engage in a substantial conversation with one another. The Willoughbys (2020), however, have parents that hate their kids so much they don’t even invite them over for dinner or talk to them at all.
The Willoughbys is a novel by Lois Lowry, the same author behind The Giver. Both pieces discuss family structures, but the former is far more light-hearted and relatable. The animated film adaptation of The Willoughbys (2020) takes its viewers down memory lane with a very heartwarming and colorful storytelling. The film discusses family and other familiar topics from childhood and by doing so, they are able to pull strings that attract not only kids, but also adults.
The Willoughbys come from a prestigious lineage of sophisticated yarn-like red hair. As the mustache recede, the family’s close-knit comes with it. Tim, the eldest, thinks they can be freed from misery once their parents disappear, so he hatches a plan with his siblings that shall make them proud orphans. The plot is no stranger as it reflects countless films with children in dysfunctional families. It may be familiar, but it doesn’t change the fact that it’s entertaining and hits close to home. After all, hating our parents at some point is a rite of passage we all go through.
The Willoughby parents keep a door between them and their kids. They neglect them completely and pretend they do not exist, just like Mr. & Mrs. Woodworm did with Matilda (Matilda, 1996). Mr. Wormwood wanted a boy, so when his missus gives birth to a girl, he was the most dissatisfied person in the world. Matilda’s family likes to pretend she doesn’t exist, which is why she look after herself at a very young age. The Willoughbys did not react to neglect similarly as they did not grow-up with any piece of independence at all. Tim (The Willoughbys, 2020), for one, does not even know how to prepare a meal. Neglecting children is never good, but that doesn’t make spoon-feeding the best thing to do. Amy (Bad Moms, 2016) does all the work for her kids, even their school projects; so when one day she decides to keep her hands off the steering wheel, her kids did not know where to go. A good balance of care and responsibility raises a child that is able to run on their own. Julie (Flipped, 2010) grows up in the presence of her parents that guide her and her siblings. They constantly watch over them, but at the same time let them be kids. As result, Julie learns how to garden, take care of pets and even start her own small business. Her brothers, on the other hand, are determined to pursue their music career.
The Willoughby children want their parents out of their hair because they think that it will lead to satisfaction. Wanting to be alone is a familiar thought because as kids, we too, wanted to be as far away from our parents. Riley (Inside Out, 2015) runs away from home because she feels like her parents control her so much and it makes her miserable. Being alone gives us the feeling that we are older and most kids simply want to be treated like adults. This is the reason why the “don’t grow up, it’s a trap” quote is so popular. Kids always can’t wait to be grown and when they finally reach that point, they realize that it’s not so special at all, and being younger is a lot better. I’m not even working yet, but I already miss being in first grade and only thinking about snacks and cartoons. When I was eight, I hated that I went to our field trip with a nanny — it spoiled the fun for me. Looking back, though, I did need someone to watch over me, especially because I did not learn to properly cross the street until I was seventeen. I also did not like how my mom would assign chores to me when there is someone else who can do it. Responsibility, at its face, can be overwhelming. This is why none of us truly enjoy chores at all. That’s what adulthood is about, however, being responsible for things you initially did not ask for. Chores may be a bore, but they help us become individuals that can stand on our own.
If you watched Home Alone as a kid, then you probably dreamt about being Kevin too — jumping on beds, watching TV all day, and eating ice cream for dinner — it’s a minor’s entire fantasy. Before his wintertime isolation, Kevin McCallister (Home Alone, 1990) wishes for his entire family to disappear. A few days later, he realizes that he misses them even when they make a difficult company. Similarly, the Willoughbys later realize they can’t fend for themselves, especially after Tim (The Willoughbys, 2020) serves a wall decor for dinner. The Cash (Captain Fantastic, 2016) siblings did not grow up in a conventional home. They live deep in the forest and away from civilization. Even after they realize the comfort of a regular abode, they still decide to stick together because they find their family better than any modern structure. As an introvert, you would not believe how often I fantasize about being alone. However, once I am finally on my own, I start to miss all the noise, which I would everyday swear I hate. The noise we hear in our home is something we always take for granted — the laughter, the yelling, the television, someone’s phone, and many more. It means nothing, really, on a regular day. However, once it starts to get quiet, you suddenly wish it’s all back because everyone’s noise together is what makes a home. Without them, four walls and a roof are nothing but a structure, or a house.
Children in dysfunctional family films don’t want out for no reason. They want to leave or want everyone else to leave because there is something wrong. The Willoughbys (The Willoughbys, 2020) and Matilda (Matilda, 1996) both live with abusive parents; Dwayne’s (Little Miss Sunshine, 2006) grandfather is a drug addict and his father won’t shut up about blind optimism, and; Kevin (Home Alone, 1990) simply lives with too many people, which leads to chaos.
At first, Tim hated the presence of a Nanny with them. Jane and Michael (Mary Poppins, 1964) too, were dissatisfied when Mary Poppins first shows up. Eventually, like Tim (The Willoughbys, 2020), they learn to break down their walls and embrace the presence of a sitter. These films prove that family is not always determined by blood, because you can easily find one within someone you love and trust. Friends, neighbors, and pets can be family, too. A family may traditionally mean “a group of people consisting of parents and children who live within a common household,” but times have changed, I guess, and family now stretches as more than that. Marie Curie said that the first evidence of civilization is one helping another; to me, a family starts the same way. People who are once strangers can become our family too. Gru (Despicable Me, 2010) knows nothing about parenting and did not plan on becoming one, however he ends up being a caring and protective dad of three girls. Annie (Annie, 1984) is an orphan who longs for her real parents. Eventually, she realizes that the only family she needs is already by her side. Miss Honey (Matilda, 1996) who is a teacher, adopts one of her students, so she can escape from her abusive parents. The Tuohys (The Blind Side, 2009) take in homeless Big Mike as their own. Once the Willoughbys (The Willoughbys, 2020) become legitimate orphans, their Nanny does not hesitate to take them in. With that, don’t be afraid to add people in your family. There’s not a limit to it after all.
A sibling dynamic can differ per family. Usually, the elder one is the most responsible, while the youngest is mischievous. In the case of the Willoughbys (The Willoughbys, 2020), Tim may appear to be bossy, but Jane seems to be the brain of the family. The twins, Barnaby A & B, are quite mischievous, but very inventive too. Despite their differences, they complement one another. Their diverse skills remind me a lot of The Royal Tenenbaums (2001), with children who succeed in different fields. What’s Eating Gilbert Grape (1993) opens with Gilbert introducing each member of his family and the responsibility they have. They may fight a lot, but like the Willoughbys, they have each other’s backs. The Cash siblings (Captain Fantastic, 2016) are not so diverse because they are raised to be the same and completely different from the rest of the world. The unity among them is somehow familiar to the Willoughbys. Their teamwork becomes most evident when they stage a commotion to steal food from the grocery store — not exactly legal, but still, it shows that they have each other’s backs.
Even when they are ready to take the fall for the other, a group of siblings will always have at least one snitch. Tim (The Willoughbys, 2020) snitches on their Nanny after finding out that she’s in contact with their parents. His actions fire back when Orphan Services comes and individually send them to different foster families. Rellian (Captain Fantastic, 2016) snitches on his father and decides to stay with his grandparents. Frank (The Squid And The Whale, 2005), as he and his brother take sides on their separated parents, repeatedly snitch on his dad’s lifestyle. My brother is the snitch in our family and I absolutely loathe him for it. As they usually say in Nerve (2016), “snitches get stitches,” but I’m way past that phase already and I just simply don’t care anymore.
I see my mom and I’s relationship in Lady Bird (2016), especially because when I was younger, my mom and I would fight a lot, then later on we’re fine and laughing. My siblings and I used to fight and complain about each other so much like the ones in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape? (1993). We’ve somehow managed to tone down, so we’re now like The Willoughbys (2020) — I’m definitely Jane, while Tim and Barnaby are my brothers. I see my mom a lot in Amy from Bad Moms (2016), she’s a working mom, too, who has to watch over her kids. My youngest brother possesses intelligence and independence like Matilda’s (1996). My other brother has a love-hate relationship with my dad, kind of like Walt (The Squid And The Whale, 2005). My parents are like Ben’s sister and her husband in Captain Fantastic (2016), while I’m probably one of the Cash kids. Mostly, I think my family, as a whole, especially on my father’s side, is like Miguel’s family in Coco (2017) and Kevin’s family in Home Alone (1990) — very close-knit and traditionalist, at the same time, very big and merry.
The Willoughbys show how important it is to converse with children, because it helps them understand and adapt to the world. After spending enough time with the kids, Nanny learns about the children’s longing for a complete and caring family. Later on, she becomes their new mother and it shows that a family can practically be anyone in our life. The Willoughby kids found a new home with their Nanny, just like how Matilda learned how to be cared for with Ms. Honey. The Willoughbys brought back the wild imagination I had when I was a child, while serving as a good reminder of how amazing it is to be a growing kid in a progressive environment with a loving family.
My favorite part of dysfunctional family films are still the awkward dinner table scenes. It’s like watching lethal chemicals get mixed to make an establishment explode. However, digging into the characters for familiar familial tones will never get old — just like an easter egg hunt. Messed up families in film will always somehow mimic our own. It doesn’t mean that we’re dysfunctional, it’s simply that no family isn’t flawed.
